My calm story goes back a few years to my early sixties. I had just retired and with more time on my hands and no longer having work as my identity, I began doing too much thinking.
I began to realize that my entire life as a dad, my identity was tied up with being a provider, protector, guide, and “dad worrier.” I love my two daughters and I had been amazingly comfortable with our relationships. Suddenly, I felt loss. Honestly, I went into my own hellish mindset that my role in their lives was less.
Sitting with this uncomfortable feeling and historic identity, I struggled. It was in the grieving and letting go, that the solution (which seems so obvious now) surfaced – create a new definition of my identity to two remarkable, grown women. From provider, protector, and “worrier dad,” I realized a greater role as “one to listen and to bless.”
In my own adult world, I really had no one besides my wife that listened and blessed me ongoingly. In fact, to find anyone who has the gift to truly listen is a rare commodity. Embracing this new self-identity provided me with a deep CALM and greater intrapersonal relationship with each of my daughters, which has now also expanded to our adult grandchildren.
I possess a rich CALM with my deeply grounded purpose as a father and a man.
Stories of Midlife Calm
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